I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
