Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
