Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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