he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
