We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
