roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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