Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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