It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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