His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
