weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
