I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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