do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
