We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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