okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
