she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
