OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
