this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
