hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
