The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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