I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
