so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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