Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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