Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
