C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
