i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
