idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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