Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I'm jealous of your bromance
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
