there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Did you pee in the oven last night??
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
