take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
