she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
