And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize