That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
