she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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