we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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