It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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