Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
