question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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