life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
