Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
