so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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