just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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