Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize