I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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