Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
be right there i have to get my cape
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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