There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I got inside last night via doggy door
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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