he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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