so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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