I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
this boner is exhausting
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Randomize
