so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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