I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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