I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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