Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
