I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
