Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
