yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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