i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
