I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Randomize
