Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
