We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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