So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
