OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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