new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My pussy is not your playground.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
