Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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